Let’s say you are an adult content creator or you are considering becoming one, chatting with fans is slowly part of your daily activity and you would like to spice things up, but you’re afraid to not cross the line from seductive to cringe? Totally understandable.
Sexting can be more complicated than it seems, there are a lot of things to be taken into consideration – timing, mood, language, vibes, but let’s start from the beginning.
📱 What is sexting?
No shaming here, so don’t worry if you’re not sure what sexting is. Sexting (or sex texting) can range from sexually explicit or suggestive messages to photos, videos or audio messages on smartphone, computer, tablet or other devices.
So, probably you’re already sexting in one way or another, aren’t you? Nude or nearly nude photos or selfies, videos that show nudity, sex acts or simulated sex, all can be considered sexting.
💌 Why is a sext so important?
Words have that “je ne sais quoi” – something that photos or videos are just giving away. Words help to form a deeper, more intimate connection with the other person. It’s stimulating, it’s arousing, it’s uniquely erotic.
“Reading sexually evocative language is like foreplay for the mind. It’s stimulating, stress-relieving, and great for building non-physical intimacy” – Sarah Riccio, sex educator and co-founder of Delicto.
101 Guide to sexting:
🗣 Ask for consent
Consent is sexy, but it’s also great in order to check if it’s the right timing. Maybe they are in a meeting, sharing their screen for a presentation and forgot to turn off notifications. That would be awkward. Or they are in public transport with a lot of people around.
It’s not only sexy and in good taste, but also the perfect way to tease them.
“I took a photo of myself post-shower and I kinda want to send it to you. Would you like to see it?” or “I am at laying in bed, trying to fall asleep, but I keep thinking about all the things I would like to do to you. Do you wanna hear about it?” are great examples of how to ask for consent and also incite your sexting partner.
🥵 Offer validation and show excitement
“Sexting can make people feel nervous or vulnerable, especially if there are pictures involved, so be sure to share a lot of positive reinforcement to make people feel good about what they’re saying and sending” – Stella Harris, sex coach and author of Tongue Tied: Untangling Communication in Sex, Kink, and Relationships
As human beings, we crave validation, to be accepted and appreciated, so adding a few words of admiration here and there will make your partner feel more confident and will add to the flow of the conversation. A simple phrase like “You’re so sexy, it’s unbelievable” or “You’re getting me so hot right now” can do the tricks. Also, don’t underestimate the power of emojis 🍆 👅 💦
🙅🏻♂️ Don’t judge the other person’s fantasies
The first rule of sexting is that there should be no judgement. People are opening up and sharing some “taboo” fantasies or fetishes that they do not necessarily mention in their day to day life. Don’t make them regret opening up to you by judging them or otherwise making them feel bad about what they’re into.
If at some point during sexting they mention something that it’s a real mood killer for you, just simply steer the conversation away from that topic or scenario.
For example, if your sexting partner has mentioned tying you up and you’re not into that, you can respond with something like this: “After tying me up, you realize that I want to use my hands to feel your body, so you untie me and let me get on top of you.” and hopefully they get the hint.
🫦 Learn their lust langugage
Is your sexting partner more into “you’re so good” or “ have you been naughty?”. To find out what would best arouse the other person, communication is key. It might be a little awkward to ask directly, so try to incorporate some questions into sexting.
For example, you could ask “does it turn you on when I call you Daddy?”. They might agree with you, but if they don’t, don’t get discouraged, that’s the perfect opening to ask them directly if they like it dirty or not.
💋 Be specific with your sexts
Don’t be shy, it’s not the time to be ashamed of your kinks and fantasies.
“Get specific about what turns you on [and] what you would like to have done to you, as well as what you would enjoy from the other person in that moment,” suggests Alvarez.
This will turn things steamy in no time. On the other hand, if you are not too good with words, think of the five senses when crafting your sexts and think of specific parts of their body, elements that form the atmophere. The more details, the better.
🫶🏻 Stay safe
If at any point you feel uncomfortable, try to let your sexting partner know. If they don’t stops or you are being harassed or threatened, stop the conversation immediately and block them.
In case you are a Flirtback creator and ever experience this type of situation, reach out to us and we will assist you asap.
Sources:
https://www.them.us/story/the-ultimate-guide-on-how-to-sext
https://www.mindbodygreen.com/articles/sexting-guide-with-examples
