It’s time to ditch the cliche “how are you”, and “where are you from” questions and dive into something more meaningful. It’s not easy to find topics of conversation with strangers, but here is a guide that will make your life easier.
Conversation starters
Tell me about yourself
This is a great way to give the interlocutor free range when it comes to the topic of discussion. If they want to talk about their job, hobby or pet, they can do that.
What’s your story?
It can go in so many directions – from childhood, and friends to career, hobbies, and passions. You can find out fascinating things about the other person.
Working on anything exciting lately?
Let’s put “how do you do?” To rest. Instead of getting a boring update, you might find out something exciting that is happening in their life.
Are you working on any personal project? What is it?
One of my personal favorite questions. As side hustles are becoming more mainstream, who knows what interesting project are they working on? Maybe it’s even something you might consider yourself.
What was the highlight of your day/ week?
A great alternative for “how was your day/ week?” That will likely get you a positive aspect of that person’s day/week, instead of the autopilot “fine”, or “good”. What if they had a puppy at the office? That would be something nice to hear.
What was the low point of your day /week?
If you have a talker, why not ask about the downs of their day/ week? A suitable follow-up question would be “do you want to talk about it?”. Never push somebody to talk about something they are not comfortable doing so.
Keep the conversation going
“What are you doing this weekend?”
A classic, but always works and keeps the conversation flowing. If it’s a Monday or Tuesday you can go for “Did you do anything fun this past weekend” or a simple, more universal option is “What’s your favorite thing to do on the weekends?”.
What’s your favourite cuisine?
Food is amazing in any language, any culture, so why not make it a talking point? You can find out about great meals from different countries and can pitch in with your favorite food and recipes. Bonding over food is the best bonding.
Are you keeping up with sports/ tv shows/ cinema/ news recently?
Stick to one at a time, and prioritize the ones that apply to you. If you are into movies, ask them if they heard about the new Avatar movie or if they’ve seen it. If they don’t, just tell them about the specific subject. Ideally, they will tell you about something they are keeping up with, if not, just ask.
Take your conversation to a deeper level
If you had the option to have dinner with anybody, dead or alive, who would it be with and why?
A more creative way to ask who their idol is which can give you an insight into their personality and values. If it’s somebody you know, you can mention something you know about them. If you’ve never heard about them, ask more about them.
If you had to pick any character in a book, movie, or TV show, who is most similar to you, who would you choose? Why?
Especially ideal if they enjoy tv shows, movies, or books, as they might already find a character in mind. If they are struggling, suggest a character that is similar to you and build from there. It’s easier if they have examples.
When you were growing up, what was your dream job?
A natural follow-up for “what do you do for a living” as you can chat about whether their current job is similar to their original dream, or where things took a different turn.
“How were you as a child?”
Great to ask at any point. It can be interesting to see how a person changes or stays similar throughout their life and how experiences affected them.
“What is the best thing about working as a ____?”
This pushes them to think about something they enjoy at their job and sparks gratitude. Making your interlocutor enjoy the conversation by highlighting positive aspects will help the conversation going or get back to you for more dopamine.
“What’s your biggest regret?”
Allowing them to be vulnerable and creating a safe space is crucial to be able to share the ups and downs of life. Only ask if you are prepared to go deep and are really interested in knowing.
What’s your biggest fear?
Buckle up because this is also a question that can go deep. It can range from the innocent of “I’m scared of insects” to “I am worried to die alone and somebody finding my body after 3 months”.
Remember – be bold, respectful, keep it real, and create a safe space. Don’t be afraid to ask the deep stuff. It’s refreshing to talk about meaningful things in our lives and stop hovering above surface-level topics.
A key aspect is for you to be real and respectful. That builds trust a lot easier and makes you easy to talk to. Don’t jump to conclusions and don’t be insensitive. It’s easy to offend somebody unwilling, so if that happens, a simple “I’m sorry. Thank you for pointing it out” goes a long way.
Last, but not least, there is no need to be aggressive or arrogant. Yes, your talking partner may say things that you do not agree with, but that leaves the door open for debate and it’s more exciting than shutting the door in their face.
If you want to make things spicier, check out our guide to sexting and also our article on 50 Sexting Ideas To Use Right Now.
